Tuesday, August 24, 2010


Rubia smiles much these days. Around six weeks old was the first glimpse of her sweet dimples and muppet smile. Though I have tried, I have yet to capture a picture of her grin. And even at my tiredest, if she begins to smile, I stop and smile with her...I don't want to miss a single one.
I warm my hands around my coffee cup and think about yesterday. Yesterday was a day that I would like to cash in for a do-over...a day I am not proud of as a Mama. Such a hard day with so many challenges. I hope that of all the days that they may remember, it will not be one of them. I am going to chalk it up as one to learn and grow from. Not only are my children learning how to be, so I continue to as well. Life long learning is always going on I guess. I am leaving it behind me and moving on...today is a new day.
The kids are busy playing in their room and I am thinking about many things ahead of my family...David starts his new job soon. I hope and pray for happiness for him in this new company. For opportunities for him to grow and be challenged.
I am looking forward to the new Sunday School class I will be joining in a couple of weeks...Intentional Parenting. I need this one and I have heard good things about it from other parents of little ones that have attended it. I have signed up my babies for Sunday school as well and Elijah for AWANAs. I am thrilled with the church home we have found. I am feeling fed spiritually, shored up in fellowship with other believers, and I love that it is only two blocks up the street...There is something so right about being able to walk to church. But, mostly it is the content of what we have found inside the building than the location of the building that has brought so much to our lives.
I am thinking on the Home school Co-op we joined and about how I want to approach this home school thing. It's not totally foreign to me...after all I was home schooled, but, now I am in my Mama's shoes and to take on caring for my children's education fills me with joy and a sense of urgency and pressure...as well it should. This is something I need to do right and do to the best of my ability. The Co-op seems to be a place of support and learning. I look forward to building relationships there as well as to be able to expand my children's learning.
While I sit in this creaky, old chair, not all of my thoughts are turned to heavy things. I am thinking of the two up-coming David Gray concerts that my Sweetie and I are going to...tomorrow night and Sunday. Two dates together, alone, sharing two of our favorite things...Live Music and David Gray. I am cooking up ways that I can bless the neighbor that will graciously watch all three of my babies tomorrow night.
Now my thoughts turn to the house...it is time to clean and organize my spaces...I think I'll blog walk a little first as I finish my coffee...then it is time to crank up the music and channel the Tazmanian Devil. There is much to be done.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

In a minute...

Elijah ate two carrot sticks at dinner tonight with very minimal complaining...woot! This is huge people...huge!!
Inside I was doing a little dance. I started to gloat and think to myself that "I've got this...I'm awesome...I rock as a Mama!"
The next moment my bubble was burst as Evelyn peed in her seat, at the dinner table, causing there to be a rather large puddle on the floor. Still refusing at times to tell us she has to go.
Parenting is like that...highs and lows...sometimes in the short space of a minute. Plus, it's never wise to gloat...he's only three, I am certain I have my share of proverbial "puddles on the floor" moments to come with all of my babies.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010


A pot of basil grows on the window sill...a little sad, but still growing.
The half jar of Hoisin sauce was used for dinner tonight.
The counter is full of dishes.
They watched Cinderella for the first time today.
We made raspberry jam.

The mosquitoes just about ate us alive while we picked.
Actually, I picked and the children ate...popping raspberry after juicy raspberry into their scarlet mouths.
I still managed to pick four pounds, even with them sneaking.
We will be making peach/raspberry tomorrow.
I love feeding my freezer.
They love eating the jam.
It will be a glorious thing during a mid-west blizzard in January.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010


She smells of milk and lavender with her downy head tucked into the pocket made by my collar bone and chin. She squeaks and sighs, somewhat contented. My hand on her back feels the occasional gas bubble release causing discomfort followed by relief.
It is late, nearly midnight and I look forward to a few hours sleep until her shrill cries and demands for milk wake me to tug and pull on my now conditioned yet sometimes sore nipples. The house is quiet. I can hear my other loves as they sleep. The toss of an arm or the intake of breath.
Now in her crib, she cries before she sleeps, attempting to drown out the sounds of Spring Rain on the noise machine. It is meant to sooth, but doesn't seem to always work. I keep it on just in case and it soothes me. Perhaps she would like Summer Night instead, I debate on whether or not to change it.
Tomorrow we will pick berries. I have promised B that we will make jam. The thought of this excites him as he loves to help in the kitchen and he is a jam fiend. I hope for little trouble from mosquitoes and for the bumper crop of Fall raspberries as foretold by the old guy at the U-Pick two weeks ago. We will also stop at the small library for new picture books, a vegan cookbook, and maybe some books on tape. Morsel enjoyed listening to Geronimo Stilton to fall asleep while staying with cousins last week. It is something I want to try here at home. Then groceries of course. An empty fridge will not work around here.
After a week and a half of travel I am hopeful to get back into a steady rhythm. I am hopeful to find a solution to Squeak's gas issues even if it means drastically changing my diet such as losing all dairy. I am hopeful of many things in the months ahead and grateful for the fullness that is held today.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

To-dos aren't that bad really...

We are finding a bit of a routine around here...sort of.
There are certain things that I try to get done each evening after dinner...
I adore a clean kitchen, but, I hate to do the dishes. Two opposites in conflict...but, I do them anyway. I love to wake up in the morning, walk into the kitchen to make breakfast and to find it neat as a pin.
So I load the dishwasher and hand wash any dedicates or super crusty pots or dishes.
I wash down the counter tops and table top.
I sweep the floor and mop if needed. All to the sounds of my laughing family playing the Wii or wrestling around on the living room floor...nice really.
Bed time is pretty easy around here...pjs, brush teeth, kisses for Daddy, tuck in, pray...sweet dreams. Lately Elijah tries to keep me in the room as long as possible with question after question. I want him to feel like he is always welcome to ask questions...I never want to quash his inquisitiveness, so I answer all as best as I can all while creeping towards the door.
Rubia on the other hand is still struggling with being in her crib. She hates being in there, but for my own sanity I needed to be able to sleep again in my own bed next to David and not on the couch. She cries and cries, but, I have to leave her be knowing that she is fed, burped and wearing a clean diaper. I put a noise machine in the room and that seems to be helping her...Little Miss likes to have noise while sleeping, no quiet room for her. Spring Rain seems to be a happy sound for her to drift to sleep to...
So it goes...today I found myself feeling relaxed and just happy to be where I was at that moment...I love being a family of five, it's a nice feeling.

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Taking Care...

It's so easy as a Mama to put myself last...I think we all do that. I have so many balls in the air that anything to do with myself often gets placed to last on the to-do list. I am trying to change that in my life, not to put myself ahead of my family of course, but to make room for taking care of me.
I plucked my eyebrows the other day, not something I have been on top of, but, instead of standing looking at them with a sigh I took five minutes and cleaned them up.
I am really motivated to get myself back in shape. I am making healthy food choices and making sure that I have options on hand when hunger hits. I make up batches of Wheatberry Salad, I cut up fruit, and I drink lots of water. My OB pleaded with me to wait two years before getting pregnant with baby #4. She asked me to be good to myself and to give my body a break as I was obviously wearing it down. I have really taken that to heart. My body is tired and was starting to show it through several issues that had begun to crop up. I want to be able to run and enjoy my children and that means making smart choices. Plus, I feel so alive when I am taking care of myself.
I hope to be running again soon, I have missed it so much. I have been going for walks and the exercise feels tremendous.
I got a pedicure on Saturday. My David is awesome. He took all three kids and sent me off to the salon. I refused to feel guilty and I enjoyed the pampering and time alone.
I am still eating chocolate however. After one particularly hard day David got me my favorite chocolate/ Health Bar Blizzard and I proceeded to consume the entire thing...those empty calories were so worth it and the next day I was right back to eating my quinoa and fruits and veggies.
I am allowing a few minutes here and there for doing things I enjoy. I have started knitting a cardigan for Rubia and I plan to make one each for Elijah and Evelyn as well. I read while nursing Rubia when I can. I love reading and I have missed having my nose stuck in a book.
I am allowing myself just be from time to time and that seems to be making all of the difference. This post feels a little disjointed and rambling...congratulations if you made it through the whole thing, I can't seem to compose my thoughts well these days and that is hard for me as a writer it's what I love to do. But, I know once I get more sleep, it will all come back...hang in there with me won't you? :)