I am really starting to like being a stay at home Mom. What a difference a week and a change of attitude makes. This is as shocking to me to admit as it may be to read. I have had a hard time of it these last six months adjusting to my new role. I never imagined that I would struggle so much with the day to day. I never loved my babies an ounce less...I love them more and more each day. I wasn't prepared for how alone it can be to stay at home. Alone in the sense of adult interaction. Mom interaction really. This whole experience has laid me bare and stripped me of any and all day dreams and pretensions that I may have had. This is work pure and simple...very rewarding, but still work none-the-less. I thought that I would step into this role with ease and that it would be magical. This was after all what I had always wanted, to be able to be at home with my children, raising them, doing crafts, eating healthy meals, everyone content and happy...yes, such a naive dreamer I was. I have learned to admit my weaknesses and rely on my Savior daily. I feel that maybe that has been the point of this whole desert experience...learning that my strength is insufficient and that I often stumble and fall. But, through daily prayer and scripture memorization...wow, what a difference in my life and how I do things. Such peace... Also getting out and interacting has been key for me and the kids. I have found a wonderful MOPS group, I have become involved with a local Mom's meet-up, and several Moms in my neighborhood and I get together regularly. Our kids play and we talk, it's lovely. We also hit up story time at the library weekly. For me these things help me stay energized and focused.
The house has never been cleaner and more organized. So instead of seeing it all as drudgery, things are relaxed and fun. I enjoy making warm breakfasts and doing activities unprompted...mostly realizing that I can do this! I am so grateful to David and my sweet babies for being so long suffering through my journey thus far. I still have so far to go, but I am finally feeling the sun on my face again.
The first picture was of breakfast a couple of days ago...warm, homemade cream biscuits and apple butter...tea, real, butter, orange juice...yummy.
And those pots up there? Strawberry seeds planted for valentines...we'll see what happens. Elijah loved smooshing the dirt between his fingers and filling up the little pot. They were 1 dollar each at Target. How could I resist?