Monday, January 11, 2010
Gosh, I have been away for so long that I wasn't certain that I would remember my password...I somehow pulled it from the recesses of my brain. I took a much needed (and unplanned break) from this space. I have needed to do some deep thinking and working on me. I still have such a long way to go, but I have been working hard to figure out who I am, now that I am a stay-at-home-mama and what exactly my goals and hopes are. I fear that I have been coming up painfully short to the Mama that I want to be. There is so much that I want to accomplish with my little ones and often fail to even get started. I tell myself that I'm too tired, or it's just too much work, but, my babies are worth every drop of energy I can muster. I am working on turning off the selfish side of me. It's not about me right now. No, I probably won't get a cake on my birthday and no I won't get to sleep in on a Saturday until the kids are in high school, but does it really matter? I get to see the sunrise each morning and I get to eat breakfast with two of my favorite people aptly nick-named B and Morsel. I can get kisses and hugs every time I want them and I am given the joy of seeing the world through their eyes each day. I have to remember that these children are in my care for but a short time only, it is my job to help them thrive and grow...I have been praying a lot for them. Prayer is powerful.
So I am getting out there more. I am working to turn myself back on and to re-embrace my interests and hobbies, trying to engage the children in more creative play, and just to get them out playing with other children their ages. We did that this morning and what fun they had and I got to interact with other Moms...what fun I had.
To add to the craziness, I am 17 weeks along with baby number 3. I am really excited and I have more energy now in my second trimester. I was dragging there for awhile. That contributed to my "gone" status on this blog. My due date is June 18 and now that January is here I really feel time picking up the pace. This little one will be here before I know it.
So it's time I threw myself back into my life and resumed living fully...here I go!