I used to be pretty content with how I looked. How my body was shaped, curves in the right places, hair just so, pedicured toes. Contentment had settled over me. I would never be a size 2 but I was OK with that.
Pregnancy changes a lot of things...not to mention two pregnancies.
There are lumps and rolls where there used be none.
A road map of stretch marks has appeared.
My nails are more brittle.
My feet are shaped differently.
My hair has a different feel.
There are circles under my eyes perpetually.
And gray hairs have been making a more regular appearance.
To say that I haven't struggled or felt sorry for myself would be a lie.
Sometimes I look in the mirror and see the baby spit-up, the haggered look and the ill fitting cloths and think, "whow, were did I go?"
When I have those moments it a certain little boy always walks in, smiles and says, "Hi Mama." Or a certain little girl smiles her big muppet grin as I walk by...and I forget.
I look at the beautiful gift of two healthy, beautiful babies I have been given and if it cost me my figure, then I consider that to be a very low price indeed. I will get used to this new me. This new lanscape of my body is something to be proud of. Look at the sweetness it gave me? That is not to say that I will stop trying to take care of myself and that I will start just letting myself go...no. However, this body will continue to age and wither away, but what I have been given in return is worth more than anything. And I did not go anywhere, I'm still the same woman who loves to bake, knit, sew, garden, sing, dance, nurture, laugh, and hope. I just changed in appearance a bit, I like to think I have improved.
I will embrace my rolls and lumps, the road map of stretch marks and the brittle nails. Because each everyday I am blessed to wake up and see my beautiful babies. I'll exercise and eat my veggies, but I won't beat myself up too much if I bake brownies and then eat half of the pan while sharing bites with a two year old with a killer sweet tooth. That sounds just about perfect if you ask me.
There is nothing more beautiful then a Mama.