Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Silence can mean a lot...

Do you ever have so much to say that you can't begin to even say it?
There is a lot going on right now in my life.  Some painful things.  Some things I am trying to figure out.  Many things I can't and won't talk about here.  Things I haven't talked about with anyone except my Lord and Savior.  I am very careful in what I share here.  I think our culture has gone too far in trying to expose itself in every possible way.  Plus, I am a very private person that keeps things close to my chest, with the mindset of "who really cares anyway?"
I haven't any friends here as of yet and we may be relocating again to a different state, so why start trying to form friendships now?  David says we should know this week where we are going to be.
I long to make a friend however.  A good friend that I can pal around with.  Someone who hopefully has children, so that ours can play together.  I pray about her and for her wherever she may be and I hope she is out there waiting for me, wherever I end up.  A Godly women who likes coffee, and yardsales, and crafting, and laughing.  Since I am alonewith just the children a lot these days, I think often of that old hymn, "What a Friend We Have in Jesus."  It gives me some comfort when I am at my lonilest.
I also have an old sheet of notebook paper that I wrote down many scriptures on years ago.  They are comforting to a weary heart.  I have been keeping the paper on the nightside by my pillow.  I read it when I go to sleep and right when I wake up.  One in particular that I keep reading over and over is John 14:27, "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you.  I do not give to you as the world gives.  Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."
Wow, what a balm to my soul that is.  No matter what hurts I am carrying with me, no matter how many tears I cry alone in my room these days.  There is always my Savior who loves me and listens to me.
 I find a great deal of comfort and hope in that.

4 comments:

Emily said...

Your post brought me to tears just now. It was as if you wrote exactly what's in my heart out on my screen. Thank you for sharing your heart, and for helping me feel not so alone in my thoughts. I SO wish we lived closer, because i think our hearts are in the same place right now. Oh how i would LOVE to go get coffee with you right now so we could talk till our tears are no more.
hugs to you, sweet sister of mine....
do you have my e-mail? although we aren't close in distance, i'd LOVE to chat if/whenever you wanted to :)
emmendenhall@hotmail.com

Prairie Rose said...

Hugs to you. We all go through rough patches and thankfully the Lord is with us no matter what. Even though things may not be too sunny now, in the days to come the sky will clear and the beautiful sun will shine again. Faith, hope, and love will always pull us through. You are a wonderful person and you are a blessing to so many now, in your past, and in the future to come. I know that I am thankful to know you. I still have the Hungarian Soup recipe too. ;-) You are welcome to shoot me an email anytime if you need to chat.

Leslie said...

oh friend,
Man I know those seasons, well. Praying for your friend today too, and your heart. And so greatful for the lady you are that rests in Jesus. Oh friend you have a lot going on, moving, 4 small children, not having a space, its a lot to undertake, and will be praying for you this week specifically for the Lord to pour out grace and peace during all of it.

Wishing you lived closer to here, oh how I enjoyed our one fun day! :)

L

Pamela Rosenberg said...

I miss you! I've been going through some seriously tough times lately. Give me a call ANYTIME!