Wednesday, February 27, 2008

"Slowly the truth is loading..."

I feel such a sense of renewal today.
I have mentioned before that I am an NPR junkie.
But, lately with all of the economic news and sad events around the world and locally, it seems to bring down my spirits which outweighs the benefits of staying informed. So I turned it off and put on music. I used to listen to music constantly...when I got up the morning, in the car, while makeing dinner, while cleaning...but, I have somehow gotten away from that.
I rummaged around in my center console and I pulled out David Gray - Life in Slow Motion.
I instantly longed to listen...
He is one of my all-time favorite singer/songwriters.
His melodies and lyrics are hauntingly beautiful.
He often mentions babylon, the repo man, and white ladders which is reference to Jacob's Ladder. He paints vivid images with his words.
"Tell the repo man and the stars above
you're the one I love" ~The One I Love
"The Swans are ghosts
on the jet black water" ~Now and Always
Favorite selections of mine are Alibi, The One I Love, Slow Motion, Disappearing World, Babylon, Please Forgive Me, Be Mine, and Hospital Food...I could keep going. I hope to see him in concert someday soon.
If you have itunes, real rhapsodie or whatever and if you have never heard him or of him give him a listen. You Tube has some videos too.
Maybe because of listening to the music or maybe because the sun was shining or maybe both, I felt such a sense of peace and hope this morning as I drove to work. I have been allowing worries and uncontrollable circumstances to pile up on my spirit and I hadn't been going to God in prayer too often. This week I changed that and every night before I go to bed I have been praying. I always see my prayers as more like conversations with the Lord. Anyway, I think that this deliberate change in my life is what is making the biggest difference. I felt as if I was wrapped in the warmest embrace while sitting, driving in the sunshine this morning.
So I think I will leave NPR off for awhile. At first when I turned it off, I felt a sense of panic creeping up my throat..."What if I miss something? I don't know what is going on! The election, the credit crunch, the economy! Aaahhhhhh." That in and off itself tells me that it is time to let it go for awhile...
I think the rest of the week calls for some Cold Play, Five for Fighting, and maybe Leona Naess...all excellent. I have also been missing the music of Rich Mullins (I will have to devote a post to him, God has allowed his music to have such an impact on my life) and Third Day.

Monday, February 25, 2008

A little thing called motivation

Why is it that I lose my motivation just when I need it the most?
I did accomplish a lot on Saturday,
Eye appointment and new glasses ordered
New driver's license, it only took an hour and a half for the state to now recognize me as Mrs. C. I did have knitting with me, but I chose to people watch instead. I mean, everyone has to go to the DMV so there is always an interesting variety of people.
Returns and exchanges to three different stores.
Air filters were purchased.
However, as soon as I got home my motivation was sapped and I didn't want to get off of the couch. Later after Little Man went to bed, I did manage to finish up the thank you notes for Elijah's birthday gifts.
Then on Sunday I had grand plans to make these wonderful sounding cinnamon roll type things, but then I discovered my recipe was for a bread machine and I didn't know quite how to convert everything and I gave up. After that I had no motivation to do much of the million things that I wanted and or needed to do.
Does anyone else have times like that?

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Waiting in the Wings

Thank you for the warm wishes and kind thoughts.
The tragedy is still the at the forefront of everyone's mind here and the campus is very quiet because the students do not return until Monday, but there is a strong feeling of hope and of pulling through.
As I walked to my car yesterday in the still, very bitter cold, I felt Spring.
I know she is still waiting in the wings for her dance to begin, but I sensed her presence for the first time. She may be wearing a very large, puffy coat, with a wool hat and mittens, and with a cup of hot chocolate in her hand, but she's there, oh, yes, she's there.
Maybe it was the way the light was or perhaps the air was twinged with the scent of earthiness.
But, I felt a little jolt of excitment and a deep down urge to start digging in the dirt.
I must wait, but the time is growing near when I will be able to spend time out in the garden planting heirloom blooms and vegetables. Don't forget about easter eggs hunts, wild bunnies, and showers of cherry blossums.
I dream of barbeques strewn with Chinese lanterns, lawn croquet, and red and white checked table cloths. And don't forget the food...homemade red potato salad, kebabs of chicken, steak, and veggies, and strawberry pie with real whipped cream. And more dreams of walking in the grass with barefeet and picking ripe tomatos off the vine...I guess Summer's right there waiting too.
*Sigh* those days will be oh so sweet when they get here.
But, I don't want to wish away these days either. Days filled with warm meals and cuddling under quilts and the crispness of the air feels so pure and clean. And really, snow is lovely.
But, just so you know I saw Spring and she is beautiful and Summer was looking pretty good as well.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

A time to mourn.

I apologize for not having posted pictures yet.
I did have unexpected time with an unexpected four day weekend.
But, I chose to spend it away from the computer.
There has been tragedy of which you have all heard.
The shooting at NIU. It's where I work.
We are all shaken and working hard to overcome the sadness.
So I spent my time at home doing simple things.
Cleaning
Cooking
Knitting
Hugging
I watched TV channels that didn't have news streams on the bottom.
I played and napped with my little boy.
I will be back soon...promise.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Ah, The best laid plans...

The road to (you know where) is paved with good intentions...I don't like that phrase. It just doesn't work for me since I practically runnith over with good intentions like sewing projects, handmade cards for everything Birthday and a home cooked four course meal each and every night. These are things that I want to do and fully intend to do, but then reality steps in and says:

Reality: "Ahem...nope sorry, not today."

Me: "But, whaa..."

Reality: interupting "No buts, you are going to have to go to work and because of the snow storm coming it will take you two hours to get home tonight."

Me: "whaaa...?"

Reality: interupting, again "Also, Little Man and David are going to get sick again and by the way...you're not going to feel too hot either."

Me: "No fair!" pouting

Reality: "That's what I'm here for!" says with a smile

OK, that is a little synical, but some days it feels that way and that is how it has been lately. It's all I can do not to fall into bed as soon as I walk in the door. There are piles (laundry, mail, etc.) all over the house that I desperatly want to deal with, but have zero energy to do so. I wanted so much to make valentines for all of Elijah's daycare buddies as well as for his grandparents and then I wanted to do something sweet for David...nope nothing got done. But, then who says that every expression of love and affection has to take place on Valentine's Day? So I will store it all away, all of my best laid plans and grand intentions and save them up for a super, special unknown day to come. Plus, David told me he loved me this morning and Elijah cooed and cuddled with me on the couch for a few minutes before we had to get going. That's all I really need anyway and if I can get that everyday (which I always do) then I count myself as well loved and cherished. And there is great contentment in that.
Happy Valentine's Day to you all!

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Guess what?

This has been a very big weekend.
On Friday, we went to the courthouse and got married.
I am now officially Mrs. C! What fun to say. I haven't been able to write my new name officially on documents etc. because I haven't changed over my driver's license and social security number. These things take a wee bit of time.
We decided to go on ahead and do it for many, many reasons, but most of all we just didn't want to wait. We had a wonderful judge who did a great job on the ceremony. Most of David's family was there and mine kept us in their thoughts from the West coast. I wore a plum purple dress with cunning little peep-toe heels and David looked devestating in a black pin-stripe suit, white shirt, cuff links and tie. Little Man wore his white button-down shirt and bow tie and khaki pants. He looked a bit like the cutest and smallest waiter ever. And he chirrped and chattered through the ceremony and was basically his normal happy self.
Afterwards it was Mexican food for all! So good! I pigged out on enchiladas and just enjoyed sitting surrounded by family and talking and eating and laughing.
On Saturday we celebrated Little Man's 1st Birthday. He real birthday was this past Monday and very low-key. So on Saturday we had friends and family come and spend some time eating cupcakes and generally partaking in the merriment. Elijah loved his cupcake and laid into it with both hands. He was surprisingly neat and only got cake and yummy cream-cheese frosting on his hands, around his mouth and a little on his shirt. We just had to give those areas a quick wipe down and he was good to go. He ate almost the entire thing and was perfectly content for awhile afterwards. We were on the seventh floor of a hotel building which had floor to ceiling picture windows. He loved standing at the windows looking out at the world below. He was also quite in love with the balloons scattered on the floor and spent a great deal of time trying to chase them down and catch them.
He helped slightly with the unwrapping of gifts, but mostly wanted me to hand him the cards for inspection and then he would proceed to cry whenever I tried to take away a card or a gift. Everyone was so thoughtful and generous. He recieved a xylaphone/piano type toy shaped like an alligator , a Build-a-Bear stuffed turtle named Mr. Gees and wearing a polo shirt and khakis much like Little Man often does. He also received a dinosaur toy, clothes including a "Mr. Grumpy" t-shirt that is great fun, a wind-breaker jacket, a jungle animal pull-along toy, and a book that sings songs when you flip the pages.
After the opening of gifts, Elijah reached his limit and started to have a melt-down. Grandma took him home for a bottle and a nap. The rest of the party was broken up soon after. I venture to say that a good time was had by all.
Sunday was the drive home and two naps for me.
Life is well, life is good.
I hope to post a plethora of photos soon.

Monday, February 4, 2008

Make a Wish.

So as of last Friday at 2 something-or-other p.m. I am 30. Happy.

We went to dinner.
Cracker Barrel is where David and I used to go on dates.

Me and my boys.

They have a super fun general store full of old-fashioned toys, dishes, foods...
Happy things.

A warm fire in the fireplace near our table.

Elijah ate like a champ...mac and cheese, green beans, mashed potatos, chicken and dumplings, corn bread, baked apples...yummy.

Good, warm, comfort food

Perfect.


Once again, my little laundry "helper."